Back-up Plans

Apparently ~ it’s not over till it’s over. Today I learned again that in life and in alienation, we never know what’s around any corner. In the last few hours I have realized the need for back-up plans and more than just simply a Plan B. Oh no, many more than simply one. My suggestion is to have an “emergency plan” always in place and readily available – in writing. On my list for emotional 911’s is: #1 Have a list of your inner circle of people who you are CERTAIN care about you and are on your team without question. Be very selective. In times of emergency, you may need these people to hold you together as you gather up your own inner supplies again. Be sure to call people who WILL tell you whatever you need to hear to make it through the first moments of a crisis. They will be your personal “First Responders”. Tell them why you’re calling and what you need to hear from them. For me this time I was loosing faith in ME. I am so willing to be “wrong” and to examine myself that I got lost in a conversation today with someone sharing a derisive story about me told to them by my alienator. I considered that perhaps I was completely deluding myself during all these years of pain and that I may be responsible for much of the alienation issue that plagued my very being and that I may have actually created the issues of dysfunction in our family. I WAS THE CAUSE! ? Was I the cause… My mind whirled around without end, around and around. It was unnerving and scary. I felt weak-kneed and dizzy. I didn’t know what to do. What to do??? I was too scared to even cry. I needed contact with someone to tell me I was ok and IT would be ok. To remind me to “breathe” and relax, to help me find my center, my confidence and inner knowing that took a little siesta. No matter how strong we are, at times we can all be so fragile! Maybe it’s true that the stronger we are, the harder we fall. Sometimes we ALL can just crumble. That’s when we call in the A-TEAM, our personal militia, the front line! I made the phone call and they ANSWERED the phone, thank God!!! “I need help right now. Are you available?” It’s important to begin with that question as we have no idea what is happening in anyone elses life and if they ARE up to supporting us in any given moment. Be prepared to move down the list if they are not available and honor their honesty. She said YES. With that one little word I felt hopeful. She reminded me of things we had talked about over and again many times, the abuse, the meanness, the sadness, the traumas encountered over many years. To also be reminded of how “clever” the sweet little alienators can appear to be. There is nothing I can do about that or how she uses her charms to seduce others into her realm without their knowing or agreement, because of the kind hearts and trusting natures of those victims. I love them and forgive them for they simply trust too much and do not know they have been “hooked”. More victims and casualties of other’s twisted minds and not-so-nice premeditated strategies. I cannot tell them, they don’t believe me. So I focus on self preservation and taking care of me the best I am able, with a “little help from my friends”, as the dear “Beatles” song goes. My phone call with Responder #1 was complete. Now I feel calmer, have a drink of water, go for a walk… and return home. These situations can be very complicated. My thoughts are still moving too quickly. I call Responder #2. She also answers and is available with another clear version of support and a successful exchange. I feel relieved that I escaped alive again and am most grateful. I’m definitely prepared for the next time this may happen and will NOT be caught so off guard.

What is my take-away and how may I be of service to others by sharing something I learned today? Keep doing your healing work within yourself. Practice staying centered and strong in any situation. Practice on little things to be stronger for the bigger ones. Discover what works for YOU. Use each annoying or trying experience during an ordinary day, to practice keeping your center and staying grounded. Assemble your list of  “Responders” wanting to be on your team and put them into groups, Team A, B, or C. Have their contact info easy to find and ASK FOR HELP when you need it. It’s not heroic, or weak or necessary to go it alone. Look at any current crisis and choose who would be the most helpful to reach out to. And then be honest and real and LISTEN to what they have to say, taking in their opinions to analyze and apply to the current scenario of what YOU believe to be the best course of action for you. Only WE know what is in our highest good. By gathering up ourselves along with the opinions of others, we can then feel confident in our next course of action. Thankfully, once again, we are not alone. Yay!

My goal is to have peace and be happy. Will “this” decision help me achieve that? And then follow through if even in the smallest way. Do something to assert your power for yourself. Be grateful for your team and for your courage and determination to LIVE your life and achieve YOUR goals. You can get knocked off track, and you can also get back ON. Today is living proof for me; it was a HARD ONE, and if I can do it, so can YOU. High Five!