My grandson’s graduation from HS was almost 4 weeks ago, it feels like 4 years. This journey…
Allow me to begin with the good news. Yes, there actually is some. Since I consciously decided four weeks ago to cut the emotional cord of connection to my daughter and grandkids the results have been very positive for me. I have finally, truly and honestly accepted the situation exactly as it is and have taken control of my constant thoughts of hoping things will change and we will be together again ~ with NO evidence of that ever happening. Instead I am practicing being in THIS moment vs. grieving the past or the future. Yes, I have even grieved the future, now that is plain ridiculous – crying over the future which has not even happened? Not good! When occasional thoughts of sadness come, now I am vigilant in guarding my mind to maintain peace and quiet. Those disruptive thoughts of sadness are like pesky mosquitos – go AWAY – you’re annoying me. With practice it is becoming easier to recognize and discard them immediately and go on to choose something positive to put my thoughts on. CHOOSING our thoughts is possible. Try it!!! Simply be aware and even say out loud if it helps: “I no longer want this thought, it only makes me sad and does not change the situation. I now choose something positive to put my attention on that makes me HAPPY”. Take a deep breath, quiet your mind. Feel your body begin to gently relax. Breathe… It is ok to be happy and have a better life. We can all do this.
Once I saw a poster that showed a house in utter chaos with a caption of: “The outside is a reflection of the inside”. It hit very close to home. MY house, both inner and outer, had become a sorry mess for quite some time, but I never was motivated to make it beautiful again. It certainly was a reflection of my matching turmoil-filled inner self. Last week I decided to get in motion and clean one little area of my living room where my Great Dane sleeps. That one small step began with putting on some energizing music and then I was sweeping, mopping, moving furniture, dusting, cleaning the blinds, doing laundry, washing a wall and even painting it! When I noticed the clock it was three hours later! Even more surprising was how uplifted, fulfilled, peaceful and pleased with myself I felt. It was wonderful, so wonderful in fact that I completed the rest of the room during the following week. The more settled the outer became, the SAME happened within me. WOW. I like this!! One week later ~ my living room is sparkling clean and unclutter, the furniture is rearranged and there is an unexpected bonus! The invisible and stagnant energy lurking around is also gone! The windows are crystal clear and the beautiful views of the mountains have returned. There is a lovely sense of lightness and calm in my house and my inner self. I am also sleeping much better. Who ever knew? Pretty cool!! I am so grateful for SO much, and that adds to my sense of peace and having a smile from the inside out.
Then the big surprise this morning. Overwhelming sadness again. OH NO!!! My experiment for today has been to ALLOW it to be. A thought, yes a thought, triggered this entire day changing course. Ok, bring it on! What if I just invite this in, ride it out and see what happens? I arranged fluffy pillows on my couch, put on a movie channel, got a glass of water, a box of kleenex and a little blanket. A cried a little and much to my surprise fell fast asleep – at 11:00a.m on this sunny Sunday morning. Two hours later I woke up feeling better. Once again I turned OFF the TV, made a little snack and followed my positive thought of sharing this experience with you! When we are in tune with God and ourselves we make healthier choices in each new moment. Today I allowed the sadness and it turned into a healing. I just followed what felt like the right path, and it was.
In my old way of thinking, today could have stayed a BAD DAY.
With my new way of thinking, I have made it a GLAD DAY.
You can too!!!
XO
“Don’t be sad, be glad….” N.M.
Grandparent Alienation Forum 